MY ACHING BLOOD
by Abasicusername
Summary: The mighty hero of darkness, Odin, decided to pull a prank on his dear friend Laslow. However, he somehow backfires and ends up dealing with a world of problems.
1. Chapter 1

It was perfect. He has finally crafted the perfect spell meant only for the dark, rippling power of the chosen one to be able to craft. While Ophelia had attempted to make this potion with him, her help did not suffice at first. She ended up becoming rather mad at her father, saying that a task such of this was too menial for her sacred blood. She was supposed to be finding a legendary weapon of yore, imbued with magic and power. How nefarious of her! But sooner she had come back with the ever-leveled head of a true carrier of darkness, and she continued on this legendary spell of yore, or something.

This legendary spell was to unveil Laslow's desperate and pathetic attempts to peruse women into having tea with him. When talking with the fruit of his loins, she said that pretty much everyone knew of Laslow's exploits already,, but Odin didn't want to hear that. He was the chosen one, the star of the play! And of course, that means he can do whatever the heck he wants.

"Dear Ophelia, you do not understand! My sacred blood boils and hungers for the unmasking of my comrade's contemptible efforts to lure women into his tent!" Odin screams like he usually does because he needs the attention.

"Father! Your blood aches for no such thing! Methinks you are just attempting a jape on your comrade! You are being rather contemptible. Good bye I say! I am taking my bow at stage left on this scene!" Ophelia storms out of his tent like a little baby. What did she know about the RAGING FIRE in his ACHING VEINS? No matter. Such is the ever present weight the legendary wielder of darkness must carry.

Him and his offspring had designed this spell to be a type of truth spell, forcing Laslow to unravel his yarns and tell his companions forthright of his intentions! Odin knows that Laslow is painfully shy, and this would just be another funny prank he did to his friend. Ophelia was right, but he won't allow her the illusion of getting the jump on the omnipotent Odin! He tried pulling a prank on Selena once, but when she found out, she threatened to stick her sword where the ever blazing, gaseous, celestial body didn't cast its gaze. He also tried this with Niles but he ended up enjoying it in some weird, perverted Niles sort of way, so now Laslow is the ever moving bullseye of his jests. The fool!

After packing up his "Legendary Tome of Ultimate Legend" Odin set out to find Laslow. His blood, stained with the glory of his ancestors, was rushing to his sword hand in anticipation of seeing Laslow. Of course, Odin always had a calm and reserved exterior despite what anyone else says.

"I am ODIN DARK! The most sly, reserved, and undetectable hero the world has EVER had the good graces of laying its illustrious ocular spheres on!" Odin laughed heartily to himself until he saw Niles walk by. Niles looked at him with the contempt and fury of the almighty heavens and said,

"Odin, you're a damn fool." And with that, he stalked off. Odin scoffed and called after him, but he was already sauntering away. He got discovered this once, but never again will Niles catch him in his private monologues!

Odin was a bit embarrassed, but he knows that even the mightiest of warriors have had their treacherous embarrassments so he continues on. Such is the life of the darkest of mages. Odin smirked to himself, looking for Laslow.

He spots the philandering man, chatting it up with Effie. Odin knew his routine. He would wear down the rough defenses of the heart with his words that flowed like rushing water made from the sweetest of honeys, and then, they'd figure out his game, complex like...a game that's complex. And then….

Odin caught himself, instead remembering why he came in the first place. This was no time to play the supporting role! This was his show! He, the omnipresent Odin, traced Laslow's movements as he continued in his ministrations. He had mere moments before the curtain closed on Laslow's time with Effie.

Once again Odin yells like nobody can hear him

"The great ODIN DARK makes his entrance!" When he finished screaming at a completely reasonable pitch, he does a series of backflips and spots Laslow.

"Ohoho yes! Finally, Odin of the great raging darkness has spotted my comrade that is poorly versed in perusing members of the opposite sex! Now before he slips through my calloused, war-ridden digits, I must perform the 'ULTIMATE PRANK OF LEGEND.'" Odin, not noticing the strange stares he receives from the other people wandering around camp, opens his tome and begins to cast his spell. Now, being the grand hero he is, Odin becomes distracted with the thoughts of Laslow being utterly mortified. His sword hand convulses in an odd manner, causing the spell he meant for Laslow to return right back onto the spell caster. What has he done?! There is no way in the ripped edges of the universe the great Odin could ever mess up on a spell such as this!

The spell runs through his veins of glory, affecting him in an odd manner. His whole body shakes, like his sword hand, but instead for a non-made up reason. Sweat begins to race down his head like a spring within the depths of the blood stained ground of his ancestors, and his eyes roll into the back of his head. He tries to shout something, but for once it doesn't come out because he was the jester and cast a spell onto himself. He ends up falling back onto the ground promptly, hitting his head on a bunch of rocks.

Now there had been several onlookers at Odin's predicament, but they only saw it as another one of his stupid overreactions. As a result, nobody bothered to fetch a healer, and all of them turn around and continue with their plans. How horrendous of them to not help the chosen one of legend! Odin continues to lay semi-unconscious on the ground, and not a single person comes to his aid. How insulting,


	2. Chapter 2

"Odin?"

Odin awoke to a voice that typically wasn't harsh to the ears, but due to him being barely conscious, it didn't feel as such. He grabbed his right ear tightly, like he had done to his mighty sword of power, Mystletainn. Well, not actually. Odin would surely rip his ear from his flesh if his sword hand grappled his ear that hard, and a river of crimson would surely spring forth like a fountain of-

"Odin? Are you dead?"

Elise gasped dramatically, nudging his side with her sturdy black boots. Odin tried to open his mouth to speak, but he found that nothing was coming out. His throat was more dry than the vast deserts of Plegia. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, heavier than the weight of the world he had to carry on his shoulders. He slowly rolled over, dirt rubbing his face that had been sculpted from the very gods above. He sat up suddenly, and Elise nearly dropped her staff. After a few seconds, she walked over, assisting in pulling him up.

"Odin, you look absolutely horrible. What did you do to yourself? I saw you sneaking around in the bushes but I didn't think anything of it because you're always acting weird."

Odin frowned at this, not knowing if she was joking or not. A moment later, her girlish laugh solidified an answer.

Again, Odin found his mighty box of voice not able to work. So instead, he decided to act out his predicament. For once, his acting skills of the ages wouldn't go to waste!

He replicated himself sneaking through the bushes, rapidly running to and fro in the small space of forest that Elise had found him in. He then took his tome, pretending to cast a spell, and then was at a loss. How was he supposed to knock himself out again?

Elise looked on with rapt attention, but was confused. All he'd done is run around like a madman, and pick up his tome and start jumping around like a toad! Oh! Now he was throwing himself on the ground...and about to drop a giant rock onto his face.

Wait

"ODIN! Okay I get it! Let's just get you to the medical tent because I'm getting worried about you."

He looked at her disappointedly. You can't stop a scene at its climax! However he sat up, dusted himself off, and started off towards the medical tent.

He hated not being able to talk. Although he was a mighty champion in the art of charades, his voice lent to him the mighty power of communication! As reserved as he usually is, all of these gesticulations made his ancient blood of the gods grow weary. Everyone seemed to just dismiss it as one of his usual bouts of dramatics, but he really did need help this time! Even the ever perceptive Elise barely noticed that he'd been injured until she saw him lying on the ground!

He laid in his medical cot (not one comfortable for a descendant of mighty heroes) for hours. He wondered what would become of him. Would he go on? Why, he hasn't even reached the intermission of his play yet! Odin didn't know how or why nobody came to check on him, but that's okay. All he needed was himself! He was the darkest mage there ever was! Well, maybe besides that one Henry guy. But he was weird. More weird than Gerome! Some guy.

Odin very well knew that Lord Leo couldn't handle his personal insecurities and Niles alone. Odin had overheard him say it whilst he was sneaking around the castle at night, looking for where Niles had hid his Ultra Mega Tome of Power! Lord Leo needed him like he needed tomatoes. He couldn't possibly survive without the ever present help of his loyal retainer OdIN DARK OF THE MIGHTY-

"In here again Odin? What spell of yours backfired this time? Gawds, you're such an idiot."

Ah. Here comes the maiden with the fiery red temper and attitude to match. The ever endearing Selena!

"Why are you staring at me like that? Are you just going to not say hi to me back, Odin? You're so rude!"

Selena crinkled her nose in disgust, and crossed her arms. Odin noticed this must be a perpetual stance of hers. How keen he was!

"You stupid idiot. You're always talking so why not now?"

Odin snapped out of his thoughts, and realized that Selena was actually talking to him. He suddenly pointed at his throat, hoping to signify he was incapable of speaking. The burdens the chosen one must carry!

He'd hoped that this would help let her know, but she only seemed enraged.

"You know. Elise told me that you were acting weird! Which is no surprise! But you're acting like a complete buffoon right now!"

Typically he didn't mind Selena's cattiness, but his blood was growing quite weary of her childish antics! He was the Chosen One! He didn't have time for this foolishness!

"Odin! I came here on some important business! I didn't have to come here y'know! It'd be like, totally not rude for you to actually hear me out!"

He could definitely tell she was getting angered but there wasn't much he could do about it! He shot up out of his cot and flailed his arms angrily every which way. Selena stopped her tirade and looked at him. She was almost….amused? Stifling a laugh, she said,

"What are you doing? Let's use our words, we're not children anymore."

He started gesturing at his throat again, and frowning. Didn't he just say that he couldn't speak? Er, not say per se, but didn't she get that he couldn't use his mighty voice of power?

"Alright I've had enough! Talk to me or I'm getting Lord Leo!"

Suddenly, she was mad at him again. That girl's emotions are like a grand set of swings in the middle of a tornado!

As she continued speaking, He felt his ancient blood boiling, and a tremor in his stomach. They sounded like his ancestors calling out to him beyond the grave! A welling built up in his throat, like when Niles told him something distasteful. Sweat formed on his head like the mighty torrents of rain endured by many a hero. He felt…he felt so…off kilter…

"Gawds Odin what's wrong with you!

Are you alright?"

"MY ACHING BLOOD!"

Odin suddenly clapped his mighty hand over his mouth. He didn't know why in the Naga's name he'd said that! It's almost like it was automatic!

"Oh! So one of your silly little games is it! I ask you to talk to me and you just scream at me?! Well fine! I'm leaving! Didn't want to talk to you anyways!"

Selena hugged and stormed out of the medical tent, as he'd seen her do many times before. He couldn't help but wonder….

What did that spell do to him?


End file.
